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May 30, 2020
These blondies are a rich, chocolate treat—perfect for a special occasion. Top with vanilla ice cream for an even-sweeter treat!
Recipe courtesy of Pastry Base
We like to try all of our food products to make sure we are providing the highest quality treats and to be able to give first hand accounts of how good they taste. We gave this mix to our "official taste tester" to bake at home and try out. She thoroughly enjoyed this challenge and has come up with enhanced directions to achieve the ultimate blondie experience. The directions that follow are not for the faint of heart and will not be enjoyed by any party-poopers out there. You've been warned!
1. Preheat the oven to 350º F. Get all your ingredients measured and pose in an aesthetically pleasing arrangement for future instagram posts. Make sure to measure extra chocolate chips so you can sneak some bites throughout the baking process. Preheat oven and laugh your way through trying to make parchment paper form a rectangular prism shape.
2. If you want to be super fancy or if you either a) burn butter when you try to melt it in the microwave, or b) the butter explodes all over the microwave when you try to melt it, use a double boiler to melt the butter! While the oven is preheating and the butter is melting, put on some throwback tunes! Use the spatula you're using to stir the melting butter as a microphone when The Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way" comes on. As the butter cools in your mixing bowl, contemplate the important existential questions your tea towels ask you. Whisk in two eggs.
3. Even though the directions are super easy and straight forward, spend several minutes re-reading them to make sure you a) haven't messed up yet, and b) are going to continue to not mess up for the remainder of your baking session. Pour in blondie mix and chocolate chips (last chance to eat some extras) and mix until dough is combined. Look lovingly at your dough as it combines to both marvel at what you've created and to send some love and good juju into the mix so they come out tasting like chocolatey love. Contemplate tasting the batter and weigh the risk of salmonella poisoning.
4. If Weezer's version of "Africa" comes on your speaker as you're scraping the dough off the attachment blade, use the spatula and blade as imaginary drum sticks and bang various surfaces and objects in your kitchen as it plays. Spend a lot of time and care spreading your precious dough into the pan you previously prepared. Make sure it gets to the edges so you get four perfect and slightly crunchier corner pieces.
5. Bake for 20 minutes but before you put it in the oven, have a friend take a cute picture of you putting it in the oven as to document, once again, how awesome of a baker you are. When the timer goes off, act like you know things about baking and science and insert a toothpick to see if it needs more time. Even if it does need more time, take them out and hope for the best because you still have to wait 30 minutes for it to cool before you can eat them and you just can't wait any longer. Let the blondies cool for "30-45 minutes" wink wink, nudge nudge, let's see how long you make it!
6. *this step will not be found on the back of the blondie mix and is optional but highly encouraged* Cut the blondies with a plastic knife, since you've seen lots of facebook baking tip videos that say this cuts blondies and brownies better. Get a brilliant epiphany to arrange them on a serving platter. Once again pose your blondie platter, a glass of milk, and your self at the table and have a friend take a series of photos where you taste the fruits of your labor. Eat all the blondies in one day. Boom. Nailed it.
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